Rudy and I stood talking at the end of the line as we waited for a concert. Rudy calls himself a philosopher, but don’t ask me whether he is.
“You know,” Rudy was expounding, “if existence is defined as the opposite of nonexistence, and nonexistence is something that doesn’t exist, your existence is defined by something that doesn’t exist.”
“That sounds profound,” I said.
“Don’t you realize your very existence is in question? Doesn’t that bother you?” inquired Rudy.
A strange someone sauntered up to the end of the line. The guy wore rainbow sunglasses, a green bow tie, flower trunks, and a cascade of gold chains that couldn’t possibly be real. His t-shirt was emblazoned with a photograph of Albert Einstein sticking out his tongue.
“Peace to you fellow Earthlings!” the strange someone proclaimed.
“Peace to you!” replied Rudy with his usual wry smile. He eyed Einstein up and down.
“Brave the unity and go soul to soul!” Einstein said. “The transcendent antenna beyond the multiverse electrifies, intensifies, rectifies! Be the incorruptible hunger that skewers the night and opens shutters to the Light! In that galaxy and time far, far away, enigmas await so fire up your starship! Let your rocket burn! Embrace the One like collisions of hot ectoplasm! We are the Alpha and the Omega and a billion furnaces roaring! We are the Omega Men!”
“Wow,” exclaimed Rudy. “That was completely rational.”
I corrected Rudy. “That was poetry.”
“That was one toke too many,” commented Rudy.
“That was something truly profound that you couldn’t possibly understand,” I replied.
Einstein stared at me through his rainbow sunglasses. He actually seemed to be surprised. “Yeah man, like he said.”